Running

Sport mirrors life and vice versa, the great highs and lows, constant changing of emotions,the feeling of achievement and utter despair sometimes experienced in the same moment of time.

I was always keen on watching sport, but never had much opportunity to play at school, probably because of my lack of social skills and inability to mix in team environments. Perhaps it was therefore no surprise that in later life running (the loneliness of the long distance...) was to prove my forte.

It all started out as a pastime to meet new people in an area which I wasn't familiar with and didn't know anyone. It was meant to be fun and sport can be and in some respects should always be, but when you have a competitive nature, then this can mean transcending the divide between fun and competition.

Sport takes all you to all sorts of different places, mentally as well as physically, it can be character building and it can also destroy a person, for those unable to conquer the demons inside. How much success is down to mental strength and how much is based on natural divine talent can be difficult concept to measure. But it is unlikely that there will be one without the other, no matter how small the percentage split.

I look occasionally in awe at the medals, cups, trophies, certificates etc... that I have won and wonder how I came from being a skinny kid who couldn't even to do forward role to being county champion in my respective age group, winning races and receiving the trophy from one of my boyhood heroes leading to running a 2.53 marathon in London 2010.

Great days, happy memories, something to be proud of, although I wish someone special had been with me to share the joys of sport with. I thank those who helped my in my early days of running Martin W, Bob D, Chris T, Steve E, without whom it would have been all to easy to give up and go back to watching the TV.

But most of all I am glad I did it my way, on my own terms, through my own efforts and auspices - a job well done... next

Work

I do admire young people who develop a sense of purpose early in life and then have the character, diligence and sheer perseverance to achieve all that they want from a career or work based environment. Me, I left school, not having a clue about what I wanted to do, in fact, not having much of a clue about anything in the big outside world.

Just applied for local jobs for something to do, seemed a better idea than breaking into the local store. I had a spare stamp and thought Post Office I'll try them and so that is where I ended up. Shoving money into a machine which wrapped it into coin rolls, sorting letters into a little slot, cleaning coins after someone had pissed into the telephone box - dead end jobs the lot of em.

The only good thing that came out of it was that for the first time I was exposed to some pretty decent human beings probably for the first time in my life. Good people, proper values, they taught me respect, how to interact and talk to others. So to Frank H, Alan D, Pete M and George G I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking me under your wing, letting me learn from you and helping to develop me as a person - you were great role models and teachers. I am truly grateful to have met you all and shared a small part of your lives.

Who would have thought from such humble beginnings many years later I would end up writing for The Times, a published author of technical books retailing at £300 a throw, starting up my own business, employing people... Without that initial support, I doubt I would ever have attained those heights...

For the rest, well my mates never believed me when I said I could do more, I had the last laugh - up you all.

Holidays

I don't wanna cheap holiday in other people's misery.

Well if you visit another person's country the first thing to remember is that you are a guest in their country abiding by local rules and respecting local customs. When in Rome do as the Romans do.

Before you go try learning a few words of the local language a courtesy that should not be underestimated, it shows a respect for the people and an attempt to integrate, regardless of the length of stay in the country. Shouting in English, very loudly and accentuating syllables very slowly is unlikely to find favour.

Find out about the history, understand how the county has evolved, its culture, conflicts and ethnicity. For some people abject poverty is just a way of life, recognise that, make a judgement as to how you will feel about enjoying yourself when round the corner may be people starving, cold and hungry.

Look,listen and learn. Return refreshed but if you return enlightened, so much the better person will you be.

Songs

I hated school, I hate growing up, I hated life.

I remember being in school, stuck in a remedial class, kind of thinking I didn't belong there, but never knowing where I did belong. People used to think I was temperamental, yeah, 50% temper, 50% mental. When I left school I didn't have a clue what I wanted from and to do in life.

One thing for sure was that I didn't want to be was:

Someone Like You.

Had a row with me mother
Got a kick in from her brother
I was in trouble everyday

Everyone hated me
I was the only who rated me
But I didn't care anyway

They said when I left school
Go get yourself a job
Get up at 7, go home at 9
I just didn't want to know

Because I won't meant to be,
didn't want to be, was going to try to be
someone like you

People looked at me as if I was dirt
Ripped up jeans and dirty shirt
They thought that I was just a slob
But the truth was I didn't want no flipping job

Didn't want to feel sorry for myself
It was a thing I didn't want to do
So p!ss off have a go at someone else
Or i'll end up hitting you

Because I won't meant to be,
didn't want to be, was going to try to be
someone like you

Written for all the 'Head of Paper Clips' and Chief Executive Officer for the Staple Gun' everywhere.

Money

Money can't buy you happiness, money makes the world go round, money is the root of all evil, and so the cliches roll on. Like most 'sayings' there is probably a basic element of truth in all if you care to look hard enough.

It is relatively easy to make money, all you need to do is find those who are weak, needy or just plain greedy (preferably a combination of all three) and then exploit them – but that is not my way.

Sometimes, I see a present for someone, perhaps something beautiful, which makes it expensive, such that I cannot afford to buy it right away. Then I think I must try harder, work smarter to earn the money so that I can buy it and offer it as a gift, even if there is no special occasion, other than I saw this and thought of you.

Am I rich, generous or a sucker, in fact I am none of those. But I do know what it is like to have nothing, so whatever little I have I would give unconditionally. The most generous people that I know are those who can least afford to give.

Poetry

Below is a basterdised version of something I read on a friend's kitchen wall. It has no special significance to anyone but is perhaps a reminder to us all that when times are tough we really should not quit, but straighten our back, stiffen our resolve and fight on through the adversity (perceived or otherwise). A poem of hope, perseverance and courage. Draw strength from it as I once did.

When skies are grey and frustrations are high,
You want to smile but can only heave a sigh,
Cares and troubles may get you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but please don't quit.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you are running up seems all up hill,
Sometimes it is easy to think of giving up,
When a little more effort would capture the cup.

Life can be strange with its twists and turns,
This is something in time all of us learns,
Believe in yourself when hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Holidays

So you have been to school for a year or two and you think you know it all.

Hey kids, gap years are great, so when your mates suggest south-east Asia and Cambodia remember respect the culture, understand the history, feel the soul of the place.

See the film the Killing Fields, think of the terror of the Khmer Rouge regime, what life was like in Cambodia under Pol Pot. You will never fully understand unless you were there and lived through it, but at least stretch the mind and try and appreciate the true horror of events that unfolded in the Killing Fields of Cambodia. Think hard and long until it hurts. So when you return and think about moaning and whinging about everyday little upsets in life, remember you would work harder with a gun in your back for a bowl of rice a day.

Don't come back bragging that you know how the natives feel the cold, and the slums have got so much soul - you have merely sampled history, be grateful for all you have now. There are plenty of people who have been everywhere but seen nothing don't become one of them.

All things are relative - never forget.

Love

I never knew anything about love as a child. At the time of meeting Karen through work, I was just like a crazy mixed up young man, with no dress sense and hair like a mop who just wanted to fight everything and everyone.

Karen taught me love, tenderness, compassion, so many things - gave me confidence and self-belief. Karen didn’t make it, brain tumour, aged 29 on 16 September 1990, when she went, well part of me died to. What was Karen to me, well a sister, best friend, confidant and self-appointed cheerleader on my behalf. Before Karen, no one ever believed in me, thought I could do anything, just shouted at me, looked at me as if I was nothing, laughed when I said I wanted to know about something.

Karen made me a cup of tea on my first day at work, no one had ever done that before that I could remember, I was 25. It was a simple gesture but it was something to me. Karen was very pretty, er, I wasn't. Karen had freckles, strawberry blonde hair and a lovely smile (with the illness the smile was sometimes a little crooked). Not that it mattered what Karen looked like, she captured my heart and made me feel special for the first time in my life. I will always be grateful for that. Even on the darkest day the sun shone when Karen was around.

All I ever wanted to do was to make Karen the happiest girl in the world, if that meant just being there to help her at work, to hold her hand when the tumour made her wobbly or sick, going to the shops to buy a tin of paint then that was enough. Everything I did for her was always a pleasure, no matter how small or mundane.

Karen once said to me that 'she wasn't a very honest person' but that in my mind made her an incredibly honest person, because to admit to that is to face a challenge that we must all meet in our dealings with others.

I really wish Karen was here now.

Dating

Dating - a game of chance, so as some people treat it like a game, what better way to illustrate how it works than by a board game (online version is optional). Well as it is about love, the board must be heart shaped. We start at the top of our heart, work our way round the board until we reach the apex when we enter the 'chapel of love' with our perfect man. The game works by each player (women only, sorry guys) pre selecting their 'perfect man' from the various body parts available. You then work your way round the board throwing a dice until you have completed the circuit of '69 steps'. There is some money to play with to help you get your 'man'. But beware there a number of hearts on the board where a 'chance' card must be taken because as most of us know the course of true love never runs smoothly. By taking a card, reading the story you may go forward, collect a body part, go back or stand still. If you get near to the end of the board but without collecting all parts of your perfect man, the game allows you to 'barter' parts with other contestants who are farther away from the 'love chapel'. This is the skill element, what are you prepared to give up to get your man but at the same making sure you get to the chapel first (it is very small only room for one couple). This is a game best played by 4-6 people, with lots of chocolate and wine flowing. So what are these 'chance cards' well here are a few suggestions:

Throw a six, pick up a card – read it out

‘you are invited to a party, get chatting to a man, he seems a right laugh, has a great car, own place, good job, own teeth etc... He invites you back to his place for coffee, you accept. He’s starts talking about how he feels a great empathy with Norman Bates and his relationship with his mother, how his mother still lives in the house upstairs. He invites you to take a shower, while he changes into something more comfortable. You decide to make a run for it, the door is locked, but you climb out the window and jump. Halfway down you remember he lives in a fifth floor flat – break both legs and arm’ – Forfeit two throws of the dice.

Throw a five, pick up a card – read it out

‘you meet a man on holiday he seems really really nice, you swop numbers and agree to keep in touch. You start dating, things are going nicely and you are starting to get serious. But he seems very close to John, you question him about his friendship, he breaks down and tells you he is in love - not with you but John and he is a long standing and loving relationship with Pete, so the love will go unrequited. Go to Tesco, buy several boxes of tissues and have a good cry together’ - Pay the bank £10 for the tissues (do not collect any club card points).

Throw a four, pick up a card – read it out

‘you see a guy standing at the bar, he looks really cool and is staring right at you. You comes over to talk to you, it’s like you have known him all your life as you hit it off straight away, so many things in common etc.... You are with friends and don’t want to go off and leave them, so you write your number on the back of a beer mat, he promises to call you the next day. The next day he ACTUALLY does call you and remembers YOUR name - Collect £100 to spend on shoes and a body part of your choice(help yourself to two small squares of chocolate from the cookie jar by way of a double celebration).

Throw a three, pick up a card – read it out

‘It is a works leaving do, you are beginning to feel a bit tiddly, one of the blokes in the office who you have a ‘soft spot’ for starts paying you a lot of attention, he asks you to dance, you accept, you go outside and start snogging the face off him, one things leads to another and you end up spending the night at his place. The next day at work you see him by the coffee machine, you smile your best smile, he blanks you, you deliberately knock the coffee all over his suit, scolding him in the process - Have extra throw of dice but pay bank £20 to cover dry cleaning costs.

Throw a two, pick up a card – read it out

‘You meet a man at the local gym, he looks pretty fit and you arrange a date. He opens doors for you, walks besides you, not in front or behind you, is attentive, interested in what you have to say, looks you in the eye, a perfect date, you arrange a second one, move forward two spaces and have a glass of wine’

Throw a one, pick up a card – read it out

‘You start seeing a guy a work, you have known him for a little while, but he didn’t seem that interested at first. Anyway, things progress and you decide it is the right time to ‘do it’, he is aroused and all over you, writhing about and he starts shouting ugh, oh, TRACY, TRACY I love you. Your name is Sue! Go back two spaces and miss a go’.

Throw a six, pick up a card – read it out

You are introduced to a nice chap at a friend’s party. He seems well mannered, well spoken, intelligent, good family background, all together someone to be trusted. You date a few times and he offers you the chance to stay over at his place, you grab a toothbrush and overnight bag, without hesitation. You go into town to see a show, a great time is had with lots to drink and eat, you walk home under the moonlight, holding hands, may be this is the one. You wake up in the morning next to him, bliss. He says he is feeling unwell, a combination of a cold starting and drink, he rushes to the bathroom, doesn’t quite make it. No worries, you spring into action and start the clean up operation. He goes back to bed, he says he has something to tell you, you stop and he says ‘I really like you but am going on holiday with my girlfriend tomorrow’. Miss two goes – wallow in self-pity party.

Getting the idea, do you like it, can it work?

Poetry

I wrote this for Jayne. Jayne is a sweet girl, basically good natured, a little battered and bruised by life and its many twists and turns, imperfect, but with a heart of gold. It captures how and what I felt when I first met Jayne and how I always knew from that day that Jayne would be a special 'someone' in my life.


A flicker of hope, in the fading light;
Soft but strong, shining bright;
Through the gloom comes a warm glow;
Like a log fire, burning nice and slow.

Darkness descends all around;
A quiet hush, there is no sound;
Read the words, feel the love;
Watch the stars, twinkle up above.

A new day dawns, go for a run;
Hear the words, sense the fun;
Hurry on home, there maybe more;
Wonder what surprises are in store.

Another mail, oh what glee;
Sharing our thoughts just you and me;
Happy and enchanted, if only you could see;
Just how much your friendship means to me.

Poetry

I wrote this little poem for Carrie, in memory of her Mum who died of cancer in April 2007. I met 'Carrie' in cyberspace, but I didn't need to meet her in person to know she was a beautiful woman both inside and out. This poem was written especially for Carrie, but wanted to 'share' it, so am publishing it out of respect for all those who have lost a loved one too soon and to celebrate my love for Carrie, which unfortunately was never reciprocated in a way that I truly wanted. x x

April falls on the morning dew;
Sunlight glistens for the chosen few;
Darkness fades, though the memories remain;
Teardrops exploding like the teeming rain.

The missing words... left unspoken;
An indomitable spirit never broken;
A Mother’s love that never cools;
Maybe we are all just April fools.

Humour

Humour is a funny thing.

The best humour is all about original thought, ah, if only I had one now or have ever had one, probably have thought it was original, but doubtless someone got there before me.

Sometimes the funniest people are those who don't actually realise they are being funny, in which case you are laughing 'at' them rather than 'with' them which isn't very funny at all.If you don’t have anything good to say about someone then don’t bother saying anything at all. You really can be funny and nice at the same time.

So many 'funnymen' (and women) seem to have had 'double lives', behind the public perception of the laugh-a-minute, wise cracking, happy go lucky sole, appears to lie a deeper, darker more melancholy figure, struggling with personality issues and an understanding of who and what they really are. It got me to wondering with comedians whether behind the mask of laughter many of them might be using comedy to hide a much greater sense of sadness. Public/private faces, two sides of same coin – maybe it just goes to show that you can never really tell, because as an outsider looking in you really don’t know what goes on in a person's mind and/or behind closed doors.

Humour is such a very unique concept and is best left to each individual to define.